Conflict Is Inevitable—But Avoiding It Is a Leadership Mistake

Focus: Conflict Is Inevitable—But Avoiding It Is a Leadership Mistake Great leaders don’t shy away from tough conversations. Learn how to address team conflict early, stay solution-focused, and use disagreements as a chance to model maturity and accountability.

If there’s one truth every leader must accept, it’s this: conflict is part of the job. Whether you lead a small startup or a sprawling corporate team, sooner or later, people will clash—over ideas, priorities, communication styles, or simply the way they see the world.

Yet despite this inevitability, many leaders make a costly mistake: they avoid conflict. They tiptoe around hard conversations, delay addressing tension, or bury disagreements under forced smiles and surface-level harmony. While this may feel easier in the moment, it quietly erodes trust, stalls productivity, and can turn a healthy team dynamic into a breeding ground for resentment.

Great leaders do the opposite. They lean in. They don’t look for fights, but they don’t run from them either. They see conflict for what it really is: a signal, an opportunity, and sometimes, a necessary turning point for growth.

At Briason Associates, we’ve worked with leaders across industries who are committed to building teams where candid dialogue isn’t feared—it’s expected. Here’s what they’ve taught us, and what we help organizations put into practice every day.

Why Avoiding Conflict Backfires

First, let’s talk about why dodging conflict is so tempting. Many leaders are high achievers. They care about people. They want to maintain morale and keep the team “positive.” But here’s the twist: avoiding conflict often produces the opposite effect.

Unspoken tensions don’t go away—they grow. When a disagreement is ignored, it festers. Small misunderstandings turn into big assumptions. People start to withdraw or gossip. Passive-aggressive behaviors appear. Productivity dips as energy is wasted on politics instead of performance.

Conflict avoidance makes leaders look inconsistent. When team members see that their leader won’t address poor behavior, missed deadlines, or clashing priorities, they learn one thing fast: the leader won’t enforce standards. High performers feel unsupported, low performers feel enabled, and the leader’s credibility erodes.

It kills innovation and accountability. Healthy conflict often means healthy debate. Disagreements over ideas are how great solutions are refined. If people fear pushback, they stop sharing. The loudest voices dominate, while better ideas stay buried.

The Opportunity in Tough Conversations

It’s not all doom and gloom. If conflict is inevitable, it’s also invaluable—if you handle it well. Here’s what strong leaders do differently when conflict shows up at their door.

1. They address it early.Conflict rarely resolves itself. A skilled leader pays attention to small signs: tension in meetings, changes in tone, repeated misunderstandings. Rather than waiting until frustration boils over, they check in. “Hey, I noticed there was some tension in that meeting—can we talk about it?” opens the door for honest discussion before grudges take root.

2. They keep it solution-focused.The goal isn’t to assign blame—it’s to solve the problem. Effective leaders steer conversations toward facts and future actions. Instead of “Why did you mess this up?” they ask, “What can we do differently next time?” or “How can we make sure we’re on the same page moving forward?”

3. They model maturity and accountability.People watch how their leaders handle hard moments. If you get defensive, they’ll learn to be defensive. If you name-call or shut down, they’ll follow suit. But if you stay calm, listen, ask thoughtful questions, and own your part when needed, you teach your team how adults disagree: with respect and responsibility.

4. They set clear expectations for behavior.Conflict isn’t an excuse for disrespect. Great leaders draw a line: disagreements are fine—personal attacks, gossip, or sabotage are not. When leaders consistently hold people to these standards, trust grows.

Real-World Example: A Tale of Two Managers

Consider two managers at the same mid-sized company.

Manager A hates conflict. When two team members clash repeatedly about workload distribution, Manager A shrugs it off as “just personalities.” Tension builds. Deadlines get missed. Other teammates grow frustrated but don’t speak up because they see the manager won’t intervene. The problem eventually blows up in a group meeting—emotions run high, fingers are pointed, and morale tanks.

Manager B, on the other hand, sees the same clash happening on their team. They schedule a private sit-down with both employees, set ground rules for a respectful conversation, and guides them to discuss what’s really causing the friction. Together, they agree on clearer roles and a weekly check-in to prevent future misunderstandings. The conflict doesn’t disappear overnight, but the team sees that Manager B doesn’t hide from tough issues—and trust in their leadership deepens.

Your Role: Turning Conflict Into Progress

You don’t need to relish conflict to handle it well. You just need to commit to three core practices:

1. Build psychological safety.

If your team knows they can speak up without fear of retaliation or ridicule, they’ll come to you with small issues before they explode into big ones. Make it clear that feedback—upward, downward, and sideways—is welcome.

2. Invest in your conflict skills.

Conflict management is a skill, not an innate talent. Practice active listening. Learn to ask open-ended questions. Stay curious, not combative. If you’re unsure where to start, consider professional coaching or conflict resolution training—resources Briason Associates often helps clients implement.

3. Use conflict as a chance to grow your team.

Every disagreement is a chance to clarify expectations, strengthen relationships, and sharpen your culture. The goal isn’t zero conflict—it’s healthy conflict that builds better outcomes.

Set Expectations for Healthy Disagreement

Strong leaders make it clear: disagreement is fine—disrespect is not. Your team needs to know that it’s okay to challenge ideas, but personal attacks, gossip, or undermining behavior won’t be tolerated.

Model it yourself. If you disagree with someone, do it respectfully. If you see someone crossing a line, address it immediately and privately.

When people see that conflicts are handled fairly and maturely, they’re more willing to be open and honest themselves.

Practical Tips for Leaders

Here are a few quick strategies you can use immediately:

✅ Don’t wait. When you sense conflict brewing, set up a private check-in. The sooner, the better.

✅ Prepare yourself. Take a breath. Enter the conversation with curiosity, not judgment.

✅ Set the tone. Be calm, direct, and respectful. If emotions run high, take a break and revisit.

✅ Stay on topic. Focus on the issue, not personalities. Keep the discussion anchored in facts and impact.

✅ Follow up. After resolving a conflict, check back in. Did the solution stick? Does anyone need more support?

Practice Makes Progress

No one loves conflict. Even experienced leaders feel nervous before tough conversations. But the more you practice addressing conflict directly and respectfully, the easier it gets.

If you want to get better, ask for feedback. After a difficult conversation, check in with the person: “How did that feel to you?” You’ll learn how your style impacts others—and how you can improve.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Even well-intentioned leaders can make conflict worse if they’re not careful. Watch out for these traps:

• Avoiding too long. If you wait until you’re frustrated, you’re more likely to come across as emotional or harsh.

• Being vague. General statements like “You need to do better” don’t help. Be specific.

• Focusing only on the problem. Always pivot to solutions.

• Failing to follow up. One conversation won’t fix everything. Stay engaged.

The Bottom Line

Conflict isn’t your enemy—it’s your training ground. When you handle it well, you show your team what real leadership looks like: courage, fairness, and the maturity to tackle hard things head-on. Avoiding conflict doesn’t prevent drama—it guarantees it. The real danger is silence, resentment, and missed opportunities for growth.

At Briason Associates, we believe great leaders aren’t born with an aversion to conflict—they’re developed with the skills and confidence to face it, fix it, and then to grow from it. We help people foster these skills at every level, building people, including those within our own team, that doesn’t just survive disagreements but pushes to use them to fuel better work and stronger trust within one another.

When you face conflict early, listen well, and focus on solutions, you do more than fix problems—you show your team what strong, mature leadership looks like. So the next time you feel that twinge of discomfort—the moment you’re tempted to change the subject or sweep that brewing tension under the rug—pause. Take a breath. Lean in. That tough conversation you’re dreading? It might be the very thing that brings YOUR team closer together.

So, next time you feel that knot in your stomach when tension shows up, remind yourself: this is an opportunity. Take a seat and have that challenging conversation. Ask good questions. Keep the conversation respectful and real. The strongest teams aren’t those that never disagree—they’re the ones that know how to disagree well.

Ready to build a team that thrives through healthy conflict? Let Brisson Associates help you turn tough conversations into a competitive advantage. Work with us, let us help you to face conflict head on and strengthen your team by turning your conflict into your leadership advantage.